The lights dim. A tiny fiery trail clumsily makes its way to the dining room table. Ah, the sweet sound of a chorus of family members and friends singing. Everyone is jolly in the celebration of a loved one’s birthday. The cacophonous acapella ends. “Make a wish!” The horror ensues.
Blowing out the birthday candles.
This insanity has to end! Let’s kill this useless and disgusting tradition. Do we really need people spraying their germs all over our food? And let’s not forget the fact that if there’s a kid in the room, whether it’s his birthday or not, he has to be involved in the candle blowing out process. Remember: Cute as some may be, and as much as we may love them, kids are incubators and communicators of disease.
And does anyone ever get all the candles out on the first try? Hardly. So the confectionary infection process repeats itself till a glaze of spit and germ riddle the outer coating of what was once an edible, delicious treat.
Yuck. Yuck I say!!
Oh, and let me remind you that candles in and of themselves are dangerous! And although candle wax may be non-toxic, do you really want to consume the ugly pastel remnants anyway?
We’re saving lives people. Let’s quash the unnecessary spreading of communicable disease and help prevent house fires at the same time.
Won’t you join me in this quest? We can all sing Happy Birthday without candlelight. And then we can all have our cake and eat it too.
Join the cause!
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